Legend has it that high in the mountains of Chile there lives a 3000 year-old llama named Sparkle-Goat. The secret to Sparkle-Goat’s seemingly immortal life is said to be a bubbling spring, creating an elixir rumored to grant wisdom, vitality, and head-turning dance moves to anyone who drinks of it.

In the year 2008, world explorers, Brad Ball and Harry Root, learned of Sparkle-Goat and ventured into the mountains alone in search of his so-called sparkling elixir. Their journey proved to be long and treacherous taking them far off the ancient passages carved by elixir-seekers before them. While scaling a jagged mountain face, they lost their footing and tumbled into the lush, green ravine below. Hours later they awoke to the aroma of goat urine and the ever-inspiring sound of “The Final Count Down” by ‘Europe’. At this point, the sky exploded with a jubilee of dazzling light and the ground under their butts gushed forth with sweet, sparkly bubbly.

Some say Brad and Harry found Sparkle-Goat’s legendary elixir. Others say they suffered hallucinations from the severe concussions of the fall. The FDA says the whole thing is a tale of cacamamy and does not approve of these statements.